The Best Director

Chapter 347: Chapter 347: Best Guest at the Oscars

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“Ha ha! Hahaha!”

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Peals of laughter echoed through the brightly lit office as Kevin Reilly, the head of NBC Entertainment, laughed heartily, showing off his white teeth like a loon. He clapped his hands on the document on his desk: “I love Magic Yang! Haha—” Another round of triumphant laughter ensued, such a huge surprise!

When he saw the viewership data for February 10 from yesterday, he was so excited that his whole body trembled. The championship belonged to NBC! Belonged to “The Big Bang Theory”! Last night from 8:00 to 8:30, Episode 17 “Comic Con” aired on time. What did the surprise guest stars Jessica Alba, Natalie Portman, and Rachel McAdams add up to? This episode refreshingly set the season’s highest viewership record, soaring 35% from the previous episode! 30.16 million viewers! A ratings share of 24/32!

Breaking thirty million in the first season! “Friends” had an average of 14.88 million in its debut season, and it never crossed the twenty million mark; that was during the popular 94-95 season when the entertainment channels were colorful and viewing options were varied. Today, a sitcom achieving such an astounding debut season result, surpassing shows like “Everybody Loves Raymond” and “Two and a Half Men” to become the king of comedy on the screen! What else can be done other than cheering and laughing? However, what bothered Kevin Reilly was that when he looked at the performance of “Joey” which followed, the 17th episode had 11.4 million viewers.

“Joey” had resumed earlier than “The Big Bang Theory,” and NBC had done a lot of promotion for it during the winter break, hoping to save the show, but the result was worse and worse! Episode 16 had officially fallen below the ten million mark, with a mere 9.96 million viewers. The “Friends” spinoff’s branding was completely useless! Only because of the powerful surge from “The Big Bang Theory” did it manage to pull back more than a million viewers yesterday…

“Magic Yang, it all depends on you now, Magic Yang! My dear Magic Yang!” Kevin Reilly muttered to himself, as long as “The Big Bang Theory” could maintain its performance, everything would be OK! He prayed silently to the viewership data: “God, let it continue to be strong, keep it up!”

CBS’s “CSI” had lost the Thursday championship for the first time this season, and “Comic Con” naturally caught the media’s attention. “The New York Times” praised this episode for being beyond imagination. Within half an hour, despite having many guest stars, the plotlines with the three big stars were not muddled at all. They had very interesting and credible conflicts with characters like Sheldon, Leonard, and Penny, and both the main cast and guest stars gave brilliant performances, with each individual’s personality standing out, leaving a memorable impression.

While many media outlets called “Comic Con” the “most exciting episode of the first season of ‘The Big Bang Theory’,” audiences also unanimously gave it a perfect score of 10, and the geek geniuses who had just started were already making a splash with thirty million viewers.

The ripple effects caused by the explosive viewership of “The Big Bang Theory” went beyond the show itself. At the end of “Comic Con,” Howard, fully expecting to have landed Natalie Portman’s number, was over the moon. However, when he called it back home, the singable string of numbers “01189998819991197253” turned out to be a hotline for an emergency service company; trouble never came alone, as the ridiculous antics of Sheldon and the others at the comic convention were filmed and uploaded to YOUTUBE, and this funny video went viral.

was made into a real website by some unknown geek fan as a secondary matter; with a 24-point rating among 18-49-year-olds, the 30.16 million viewers were introduced to YOUTUBE, which also featured a mockumentary clip shot by the crew with a DV during the filming of “Comic Con.” Blogger, “Firefly,” Google, YOUTUBE… the soft advertising in episode 17 was too fresh and crucial, and a large influx of viewers directly boosted the traffic and popularity of YOUTUBE, which in turn promoted the parody trailers and attention to “Firefly.”

Now, every day, more than ten thousand videos are uploaded to YOUTUBE, with daily video views exceeding five million, making it a rising superstar in the IT industry. It seems that the one-sided “kiss-the-donkey’s-arse” bet between Wang Yang and Mark Cuban isn’t a concern anymore.

After spending the Spring Festival in Wuhan, China, and returning to America, Wang Yang continued on his busy work schedule and sweet life. With the material from Plum Blossom Forest, the over 1800 special effect shots of “Firefly” were about to be completely finished, entering the final stages of fine-cutting, scoring, coloring, etc., scheduled to be sent to MPAA for rating in mid-April, aiming for a PG-13 rating. “Firefly” would be affected only by violence and profanity. If the Reaver’s inhumane acts were highlighted from a frontal perspective, it would undoubtedly be rated R, but with “District 9” setting a precedent and the overall tone not requiring those overly thrilling scenes, a PG-13 rating was the best choice for “Firefly.”

“Yang! Yang, come here, give me a kiss!” A tipsy Robert Downey Jr., with a goofy grin plastered on his face amid laughter, wrapped his arm around Wang Yang’s neck and forcefully went in for a kiss on his cheek: “I have to thank you, you saved my life; I’m so happy today, let me give you a kiss, oh, give me a kiss!”

And so, at Robert Downey Jr.’s bachelor farewell party, Wang Yang was forcibly kissed. Like an English bulldog, Downey drooled and reeked of booze as he gnawed on Wang Yang’s cheek several times before releasing him under the threat of a punch. The next day, Wang Yang and Jessica were among the guests who attended young Robert Downey Jr.’s wedding to Susan Levin. The reformed middle-aged man successfully married for the second time, and according to Downey’s private admission, he and Susan were planning to have a child soon.

But the ‘Blue Gloves’ beat Captain Mal to the punch. Gossip media obtained news from insiders that Heath Ledger’s fiancée, Michelle Williams, was pregnant! After the paparazzi captured Michelle wearing an engagement ring in street snaps, the unmarried couple living in Brooklyn, New York, were photographed again with what appeared to be Michelle protecting her belly! No one expected that Heath Ledger, the notorious womanizer, would become a father at 26! And the mother was none other than the plain-looking 25-year-old Michelle Williams.

At first, all gossip media and movie fans thought that the romance between the two was just a fling; another conquest for Heath Ledger to change his taste. Who would have expected that they would go from engagement to pregnancy… he had been captured. When did all this start? Heath Ledger took on “Brokeback Mountain,” “Firefly,” made frequent appearances with Wang Yang, and added to the recent wedding of the old rascal Robert Downey Jr., no wonder entertainment media like People joked: “He has been influenced by Magic Yang.”

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It was incredibly fast! Before the gossip could even spread, Wang Yang had received personal confirmation from Heath Ledger that the expected due date was for October to November of this year! Heath Ledger was incredibly excited and happy about becoming a father, ceaselessly asking Wang Yang various questions about pregnancy, as he knew that Wang Yang had researched a lot of information for “Juno.” He also asked what would be a good name for the child, seeing as Wang Yang, who had written so many scripts, had more experience in naming. Whether it was a boy or a girl, he wanted a child with a strong character.

This was precisely Heath Ledger’s dissatisfaction with himself: the inferiority, cowardice, and evasion of responsibility hidden beneath the flamboyance. Wang Yang had already decided that his own daughter’s middle name would be “Juno,” which then reminded him of Natalie Portman, and in turn, the strong girl from “Léon: The Professional.” He suggested, “If it’s a girl, how about the name ‘Mathilda’?” Heath Ledger was very surprised to hear this: “Mathilda, Mathilda, Mathilda Ledger… that’s perfect! What about a boy?” Wang Yang said, “Let the father think of a name for the boy.”

Naming your own child by asking someone else, isn’t that also a way of evading responsibility? Wang Yang regretted saying it as soon as the words left his mouth, as he was halfway naming Ledger’s daughter. Among these friends immersed in the movie entertainment circle, he did not believe that Michael Pitt and Jamie Bochert would mess things up. He understood that the couple’s feelings were very stable and they were likely to get married sooner or later; little Robert Downey Jr. had truly reformed; but Heath Ledger was dangerous. At the moment, the red light Heath was in charge, and if the blue light Heath ever turned things around one day, it wouldn’t be good at all.

Wang Yang understood that feeling of discontent, something that probably every male animal harbored deep within—a dream of flying to the ends of the earth.

Was this all there was? Wife, children, work, a lifetime—words like ropes implying bondage, yet men wanted to take flight and escape. The red light told the blue light, “Yes, it will be happiness like this.” The blue light kept asking the red light, “Is this all there is?” It asked again and again, a temptation that could be sex, money, love, or even the drive found in a fist and determination—the madness that leads one to abandon everything and leave their family behind…

Everyone has both a red light and a blue light, which can also be described as human nature’s good and evil. To kill the blue light like the rebel alliance desired? Life’s helplessness, setbacks, and hardships could grind that fervor away, making a person numb, and settling for mediocrity also signified a slow death while accepting reality as “Yes, this is me.” Surrendering to the world “Yes, there’s no helping it, this is life for me.” without the attempt and effort to change; it’s the blue light’s drive, the fighting spirit, the discontent, the anger that instigates change. Anger can burn everything to the ground but can also cause one to shine brilliantly.

Blue light can never be killed off, just like throwing a lion into a flock of sheep to grow up. Even if it remains as docile as a sheep until the day it dies, it will always be a lion. Pushed to the point of extreme anger, it may awaken—it can awaken.

However, the red light can also tell the blue something, to bloody use that drive in the right direction! Don’t wait until it’s time to regret and say, “I was wrong!” Hollywood is especially full of temptations in this Vanity Fair. Wang Yang was confident in his ability to withstand these storms, but as a friend, he genuinely felt a hint of fear and concern for Heath Ledger, not just because of discontent but more so because of Heath’s tendencies towards self-destruction. He could empathize, for sometimes he also had that thought: “If I do this, the world’s reaction will surely be spectacular.”

However, it seemed there was a difference, Heath Ledger wanted to destroy his weak, inferior self, and becoming someone else through acting was a good method; he wanted to observe, wanted to direct, and even sometimes fantasized, “What would everyone’s reaction be if I suddenly died?” On the other hand, he was becoming increasingly afraid of death.

“I, Wang Yang, am indeed not as smart as a fifth-grader!”

On the television screen, amid the joyful laughter of the live audience, Wang Yang shouted into the camera a self-deprecating line that damaged his own image—this USC star talent actually couldn’t answer a simple question meant for fifth graders! Just before that, Natalie Portman had shown her less-than-brilliant side, even getting the Great Lakes of North America wrong! Did she really graduate from Harvard? The TV audience didn’t bother to question whether they could answer the questions themselves; they simply found the performance of this pair of geniuses too comically ridiculous!

“Hahaha!” Watching Wang Yang’s helpless expression, Kristen and her family, as ordinary viewers who were not fans, just about died from laughter. Their fondness for Magic Yang leaped several levels instantly—he was so adorable! He had the courage to produce and personally participate in such a game show, and that in itself deserved praise. As an avid movie fan, Evelyn laughed until she cried, but thinking back, she also wasn’t too clear on several of the correct answers…

On this Wednesday, February 16, from 8:00 PM to 9:00 PM, millions of viewers across America laughed heartily because of this new NBC show—both the nearly 49-year-old Magic Yang and Natalie Portman were not as smart as fifth graders!

The next day, when the executives from various television networks received the Nielsen ratings report, they were truly startled once more. My! They had anticipated this show adorned with a “magic halo” would perform well at its premiere, but they had not expected it to be this insanely popular! Yesterday’s ratings champion wasn’t FOX’s ace program, “American Idol,” which had long held third place in the primetime evening slot with 26.8 million viewers, nor was it one of ABC’s leaders, “Lost,” with 16.51 million viewers, and certainly not “The West Wing,” “CSI: NY,” “Alias,” “America’s Next Top Model”—

The champion belonged to NBC! It belonged to the new product from Flame Family Entertainment, “Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?” Upon its debut, it shocked all media outlets—entertainment news, social news, science news, etc. The premiere episode’s performance was astonishing, instantly joining the 30 million viewer club and setting a series of records, including the highest premiere audience for a serialized American show since 1998.

31.66 million viewers! A 24/33 rating! This achievement was also NBC’s highest premiere viewership for a series in nearly 20 years, and since the 21st century, it was the first time a premiere show had attracted the most viewers in the 18-49 age demographic. The screen seemed to be completely conquered by Flame.

“This game show is absolutely innovative, unique, and entertaining. It revealed an unknown and unbelievable aspect—adults’ knowledge can be inferior to children’s in certain situations, even though they have studied the material before,” praised the Los Angeles Times with an A+ rating; an ordinary netizen named Barks K said on Metacritic, “If you’re a parent of an elementary student, you wouldn’t be surprised at all, I often can’t help my child with his elementary school homework.” “Brilliant idea! According to the teaser with contestants from all walks of life, this is undoubtedly a test of the general knowledge level of the public,” extolled Maureen Ryan of the Chicago Tribune…

NBC’s Kevin Reilly and others were once again so excited and trembling that Wang Yang was even more formidable than Patton combined with Eisenhower. Monday for “Prison Break,” Wednesday for “Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?” and Thursday for “The Big Bang Theory.” What does it feel like when happiness knocks on your door? It’s this feeling! If only they had seized “Desperate Housewives” and scheduled it for Sundays… They knew all too well the importance of holding on tightly to the happiness they had in their grasp, promptly purchasing the following 15 episodes from Fireworks Entertainment, ensuring a stable broadcast every Monday until June 1st.

Moreover, NBC once again made it clear to Fireworks that if they had any new plans or projects, be it drama series, game shows, or talk shows, to contact NBC first!!

As time swiftly passed, when “The Big Bang Theory” had aired another two hilarious episodes, the calendar turned to February 27th, Sunday, the 77th Academy Awards arrived as scheduled. The red carpet outside the Kodak Theatre was dazzling with stars, and the lively scene was like a grand party.

Due to this year’s Golden Globe Awards and various guild awards presenting a chaotic battlefield, the media and betting companies’ predictions for the award results were scattered, and the voices of critics and movie fans were equally split between “The Aviator,” “Crash,” “Million Dollar Baby,” “Sideways”…

“Click! Click!” The flashlights on the red carpet intertwined constantly, and the film of cameras from journalists around the world captured many stunning figures, including nominees and presenters. A gathering of stars such as Halle Berry, Hilary Swank, Charlize Theron, Kirsten Dunst, Scarlett Johansson, Natalie Portman, Penelope Cruz, Kate Winslet… and a host of gentlemen in suits, Jim Carrey, Clint Eastwood, Christopher Nolan, Jamie Foxx, Puff Daddy, Orlando Bloom…

The media spotted the affectionate figures of Wang Yang and his wife, unsurprisingly, because his name had been on the list of presenters announced a long time ago. Many had sighed with relief; it would have been quite unacceptable for him to miss the Oscars during this season of abundant nominations for Fireworks movies!

Wang Yang had accepted the organizer’s invitation to attend for two reasons: firstly, Fireworks might make history that evening, and secondly, to increase the exposure for “Firefly.” The award he was presenting tonight was neither Best Picture nor Best Director but Best Sound Effects, which, in the eyes of the viewers, was akin to “commercial time.” Given his popularity, attraction of a global Asian audience, and the two heavyweight “youngest” records in the Oscars pavilion, his management team would definitely say, “This presenting job is beneath him; don’t go!”

The live broadcaster ABC didn’t dare offend Wang Yang, and the organizers, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, always had a soft spot for him. Having Wang Yang present the Best Sound Effects was naturally to boost the viewership during this time slot; otherwise, having him present the highly anticipated Best Director would be a waste of resources. However, if they expressed dissatisfaction, they would change it – perhaps to Best Supporting Actress, where he might personally hand the little gold man to his good friend Natalie Portman.

“Not at all, I’ll take Best Sound Effects!” Wang Yang’s response delighted the organizers and broadcasters so much they almost wanted to bite him in enthusiasm. Wang Yang did not feel it was beneath his dignity; in fact, he found it more interesting to make an unremarkable award ceremony exciting. He had already tasted the thrill of presenting the prestigious Best Actress award and was honestly too lazy to attend again; however, he knew that for the Best Supporting Actress award, without the original formidable competitor Cate Blanchett (‘The Aviator’) and with Natalie Portman having already swept the Golden Globe and Screen Actors Guild Awards, her chances of winning were almost 99%.

Previously, he went to the cinema for a comparison and found that Natalie Portman’s performance in this version surpassed what he remembered from ‘Stealing Heart’, thoroughly embodying the character. A person’s growth trajectory and career path in acting can make many things different. Although she had a 99% chance of winning, he would prefer to wait for the opportunity to hand her the trophy when a movie he directed made her the award-winning Best Supporting Actress. Not this time.

Besides Wang Yang, this year’s presenter list was still star-studded, with names like Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johansson on the roster. Who would be tonight’s best presenter? In Yahoo Entertainment’s survey, the amazing Yang was far ahead.

As night fell on Los Angeles, thunderous applause filled the Kodak Theatre, welcoming the opening of the grand film celebration with over 3,500 guests and audience members present.

This year’s host was the black comedian Chris Rock, who was extremely popular among young people and known for his biting and uninhibited style. True to form, he named and mocked many during his opening monologue, “The only performance at the Oscars is when people pretend they’re not angry when they lose. For instance, I remember the year Halle Berry won, Nicole Kidman had a really good smile… If you could act that well in your movies, you would have won an Oscar already, girl!” “Tonight, there are only four real stars in the audience, the rest are just celebrities. Clint Eastwood is a star, Toby Maguire (Spider-Man actor) is just a boy in tights…” “If a studio can’t find a star, they just wait! You can’t get Tom Cruise, but you only find Jude Law, waiting… You want to get Russell Crowe, but you can only get Colin Farrell, waiting…”

Amidst the audience’s chuckles and the named stars and celebrities’ forced smiles, Chris Rock paced back and forth on the stage, continuing his relentless satire and humor. When talking about ‘Fahrenheit 9/11,’ he naturally didn’t hold back on George Bush, when discussing ‘The Passion of the Christ,’ even Jesus wasn’t spared from his jokes, not to mention the Jews and his own African-American community.

After the opening monologue, the first presenter, Halle Berry, came out and presented the award for Best Art Direction (Dante Ferretti, ‘The Aviator’), followed by Renée Zellweger who presented Best Supporting Actor (Morgan Freeman, ‘Million Dollar Baby’). The first two ladies had no intention of making jokes; they mostly just said “I am honored to present this award” before proceeding to read the nominations, causing the atmosphere in the venue to be rather subdued. The third presenter, Robin Williams, lived up to his reputation as a comedic genius, bringing joy and laughter to the audience with his antics before finally getting to the point (‘The Incredibles,’ Brad Bird).

However, the following awards for Best Makeup (Valli O’Reilly, Bill Corso, ‘Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events’), Best Original Song (“In the Deep,” ‘Crash’), and the Honorary Award presented by Scarlett Johansson (for the invention and development of the Woma rising camera and remote-control systems), whether the presenters or the winners’ speeches on stage seemed solemn and restrained. Even the host Chris Rock lacked humorous expression, so much so that there were applause but no laughter in the venue.

The ABC programming department, the evening’s director Louis J. Horvitz, and even the Academy were almost beside themselves with anxiety. They had indeed reminded the host and presenters to be mindful of their words, avoiding sensitive political and religious topics, and even shortened the acceptance speech time prior to the ceremony. They had not anticipated such a dull outcome! Could they be on their way to earning the dubious distinction of “the most dull Oscars ever”?

Listening to the enthusiastic applause and cheers throughout the theater, everyone backstage wiped their sweat, relieved that arranging the amazing Wang Yang to present the award for Best Sound Effects and having him appear at this time was a brilliant decision! The emergency guest host had arrived!

“Hello everyone!” The youngest ever Best Director, youngest ever Best Screenwriter, and youngest ever nominee for Best Producer appeared! In the thunderous applause and smiling faces of over three thousand people, Wang Yang walked out confidently in a smart black suit with a black tie, holding a white envelope in his right hand as he approached the microphone at center stage.

The guests seated below, no strangers to splendor and grandeur, could still feel a presence, a stature emanating from this magical 25-year-old man who dominated the entire Kodak Theatre the moment he revealed his face, showing no sign of fear or restraint! This earned him even more admiring applause, and Natalie couldn’t help but take a deep breath—she had to present an award later and was already feeling some nerves. This guy was truly formidable.

Jessica, the casts of “The Aviator” and “Crash,” along with friends in the industry, all clapped warmly; millions of viewers in front of their TVs smiled broadly, ready for a good laugh after a previously dull stretch!

“As everyone knows, I got married last year, and it’s been over a year now.” Facing so many smiling faces, suits, and gowns that he couldn’t see them all, Wang Yang glanced at Jessica in her seat and then frowned, “Over this past year, I’ve been worrying about something… Are you kidding me!? In America, 50% of marriages are supposed to last until death!” The theater burst into raucous laughter at once, and the camera timely swept over Jessica, who was laughing heartily, more so than anyone else. Wang Yang continued with a smile, “But later I felt a lot more reassured when I remembered something—I work in Hollywood.”

“Hahaha!” The already resonant laughter erupted in tandem with the sounds of clapping and whistling! This joke was a hit with everyone, particularly in light of the recent high-profile divorce between Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston. Director Louis J. Horvitz was quick-witted indeed, as the live broadcast swiftly panned over divorcees like Shawn Penn, the married Halle Berry, the recently mothered Julia Roberts, and Charlize Theron attending with her boyfriend—there were smiles, laughter, and likely some who were secretly cursing Wang Yang.

With another remark, Wang Yang set off endless laughter among the audience: “I don’t know the exact figures, but this place is like one big family.”

“Haha!” On TV screens, the whole venue erupted in laughter, Dustin Hoffman’s mouth agape, Clint Eastwood chuckling and frowning at the same time—this young man was infuriating! Yet, Wang Yang was smart enough not to name names; it was all in good humor, and that’s why the applause continued. The home audience was less concerned with which celebrities were annoyed, they were enjoying the show like they were watching “The Big Bang Theory” or “Juno,” driven to near death by Wang Yang’s snarky humor, especially after a half evening of boredom.

“But then I got worried again—have you lost your mind!? To have no prenup!” Wang Yang’s comment triggered light laughter and applause again, Jessica feigned surprise, covering her mouth with one hand, while many gossip enthusiasts and journalists brightened up—Wang Yang had finally confirmed the rumor himself! If they ever divorced, according to the law, Jessica Alba would walk away with half his fortune, which could easily be billions of dollars.

Ignoring the applause and laughter, Wang Yang on stage then self-deprecatingly added, “It’s worth mentioning that I’ve always lost in lawsuits.” Laughter followed without stopping, and he continued without pause, “What’s more astounding is, I don’t even know what type of men she likes to date.” This fooling act never failed to amuse, offering the audience an unconscious sense of superiority as they laughed heartily, including Natalie and Scarlett, while Jessica chuckled and touched her forehead, thinking, “You’re the only one of your type!”

“This made me realize that marriage is only the beginning of getting to know each other; every argument just makes you understand and love each other more…” Wang Yang got serious, but not for two sentences before his touching statement transformed, “Until now, I never knew that women actually needed to shave their legs.”

“Hahaha!” The audience broke into insane laughter once again, breaking the sound record for the night. Regarding this award presentation joke about women and wives, Wang Yang had obtained Jessica’s consent in advance; she’s not that serious of a person and supports light-hearted fun over bad taste. At that moment, Jessica was clapping and laughing along with the other female guests who needed to shave their legs, listening to Wang Yang sigh and say, “It turns out that even if you live together before marriage, there are some things they just won’t let you see. Despite that, I have to say!” Amidst the laughter, he leaned closer to the microphone, his smile filled with affection, “Baby, I love you.”

“Whoosh!” The Kodak Theatre erupted with equally loud cheers and applause, and the camera panned over to a beaming Jessica clapping her hands. The viewers, who had been laughing from start to finish, were thoroughly satisfied. This is how an award presenter should be!

“You must be wondering what marriage has to do with the Best Sound Effects,” Wang Yang said with a puzzled look on his face. The time for his award speech was almost up, and looking at the audience below, he quickly moved on to the point, “I’ll tell you why. In married life, there will be all kinds of sounds, and if you don’t want to end up in court, then you need to keep some sounds, like her nagging, threats, blabbering, swearing, at the lowest volume possible; meanwhile, turn her laughter, cooing, compliments like ‘darling,’ ‘you’re amazing,’ to the highest volume. That’s how you can protect your assets!”

The audience, overcoming the continuous laughter, finally waited for him to pause so they could envelop him in warm, admiring, and respectful applause.

“The next few nominees are masters at this job, which is why you would all believe that there’s no such thing as a director cursing on set. The nominees are Pietro Hjalldard, ‘The Aviator: Power, Money, and Madness,’ Gary Rizzo, ‘The Incredibles’…” (