Chapter 208: Doubt
To this the king: “Fly, mighty warrior! fly;
Thy aid we need not, and thy threats defy.
There want not chiefs in such a cause to fight,
And Jove himself shall guard a monarch’s right.
Of all the kings (the god’s distinguish’d care)
To power superior none such hatred bear:
Strife and debate thy restless soul employ,
And wars and horrors are thy savage joy,
If thou hast strength, ’twas Heaven that strength bestow’d;
For know, vain man! thy valour is from God.- Homer, The Iliad (1st Era, 800)
Erec leaned back; the night sky above dotted above with countless stars, his back pressed against the sleeping mat, the fire not far away. It was an excellent way to relax after a challenging day in the field. The second monster encounter had been a familiar foe—the same bugs that they’d first run into out in the field during their trial, oh so long ago. Before he was even a Knight.
Only this time, Boldwick had forbidden them from using their typical weapons. Erec had to use his hands—Colin could only use weapons—and Garin had to fling spells to defeat the enemy.
Compared to now, the bugs were easily squashed and proved more a war of attrition than anything else as they cleared out a nest and queen. It was not any kind of meaningful challenge, unlike the first fight.
Erec got the impression that Boldwick had thought they’d take longer to solve the first encounter than they had; even worn out from expending so much power to eliminate the unfamiliar threat, they returned to the Kingdom with about two hours to spare before Sundown.
To capstone the day, Boldwick had taken them on a jog again—the miles had worn by beneath their feet, yet they kept going until they’d sweat out just about every drop of water. Only then did Boldwick halt them and make camp.
Which led Erec to his current reclined position, staring up at the night sky near their campfire.
Erec finally addressed his notifications, willing them to expand so he could take in his gains; he’d wanted to wait until tomorrow to wake up on a good note after such a draining day... But being unable to sleep had changed matters.
Agility: Rank C - Tier 1 → Rank C - Tier 2
Perception: Rank E - Tier 9 → Rank C - Tier 1
“Less than with Sir Matt,” he remarked.
It was still considerable...
Erec focused and called forth his entire list of Blessings.
Name: Erec of House Audax
Health: 100% | Mana: 100% | Stamina: 100%
———————————————
Virtues:
Strength: [Rank C] | [Tier 9]
Vigor: [Rank C] | [Tier 3]
Agility: [Rank C] | [Tier 2]
Perception: [Rank C] | [Tier 1]
Cognition: [Rank E] | [Tier 8]
Psyche: [Rank D] | [Tier 3]
Mysticism: [Rank F] | [Tier 4]
Soul (Aspect: Fire): [Rank C] | [Tier 6]
———————————————
Divine Talents:
Fury
He took in every Virtue with tired eyes—his highest, of course, was as it had always been. Strength. Right now, it was on the capstone, near the verge of breaking into B tier. They said that the higher a Virtue got, the more difficult it became to surpass these bottlenecks. Reaching the next tier up was very much a leap and bound in the scale of power from the tier below. Yet, up until now, he hadn’t seen that. Even facing down and breaking into the B-Rank, he didn’t worry about the length of time it would take to get to the next stage.
All he needed to get there was a single solid fight—one that stretched out Fury and pushed him past that barrier.
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At the current rate, it was inevitable he would be there, and soon.
The rest of his Virtues, though... Were catching up.
“Balance,” Erec said, amounting to the most valuable of those he could gain. Agility. Vigor—to a lesser extent, Perception and Psyche; increasing those would let him more effectively use his power.
If Strength and Soul were the basis of his Strength, then the rest of those virtues were the ram-shackle supports that helped hold him together during a fight.
“Balance?” Garin called out, mumbling as he woke up from his sleep—Muncy also woke up, disturbed and none-too-happy his master was back awake based on the grunting and complaining Erec heard over there. “Who are you talking to?”
“Uh. Myself,” Erec admitted, rubbing at his eyes, not looking over at his best friend.
“Goddess, Erec. Really? You should be busy getting some sleep, not acting crazy and talking to yourself in the middle of the night. We need every last drop of it for tomorrow.”
Boldwick had promised them their most challenging day yet. Escalating to the penultimate test of their growth on the fifth day. Getting rest and nutrition was just as important as pushing yourself in this situation.
It was what it was.
“Can’t. Blood is too pumped.” It was a lie, but he wasn’t sure how to explain what bothered him. Those empty chairs kept turning around in his vision; deep inside, the question of the Knight who was him circled like a crow.
Push yourself, gain your might. Erec. But then what?
The Knight had said Arthur—Goddess knew who even that was—would be stronger than him.
Why does that even matter? Erec asked once more. Why any of that stuff about his mantle, about his power… Most of all, about the Round Table could have such a deep and lasting impact on him. The things in front of him—the church, the Kingdom. And the tournament which could spark an unstoppable fire—that should have been the core of his attention.
Not this… Soul nonesense.
“Just take a few deep breaths, count them. That always does the trick for me,” Garin said, after some silence.
“And think of sheep jumping over a fence, right?”
“Maybe for you, landing another axe swing into a bug, if that’s more peaceful.”
“Sure, I’ll keep that in mind.” Erec snorted, then sat up. Looking around the fire. Boldwick had left again, letting them get their rest while he went back to the Academy to make yet more preparations. Colin was fast asleep. Out of them all, he was the most exhausted. The first fight drained him completely physically, and the second, since they were facing bugs, took out the entirety of his enthusiasm for the day.
Still, his friend had been tapping into his Soul deeply in order to channel magic of that capacity; Erec was sure that level of firepower wasn’t purely from his mastery of Mysticism. For Colin, that particular Virtue must be tied to his overall strength of magic, just like Erec.
Soul…
It was like pouring fuel on a fire, Erec thought. Deepening the Talent and abilities of its wielder. Yet it manifested just about as uniquely.
“What’s it feel like to be like that anyway? I can’t even imagine.”
“Hot. Like there’s a burning inferno in my chest that goes through my veins. Everything becomes vivid and detailed, and all I can think about is fighting and battle… Except when I feel the silver, then it’s more. I become more… I’m still wrapping my head around what that even means, to be honest. It’s like being me, and another me from somewhere else at the same time.” Erec laid his head back down and looked back up at the stars.
“That’s how your Soul manifests, isn’t it? The cut-off between the Talent and the Soul.”
“Mhmm. If I had to guess, yes. It’s like going past the inferno into a deeper heat. Both are me, yet the silver is like a more condensed version.”
“So the real you is constantly angry?”
“No. Actually… There is a lot to be happy about. I have you guys, I met Enide; we have Boldwick and our wonderful Kingdom. I think those things, the desire to see them safe, it’s what lets me dive so deep into the inferno and use that power. I must be strong, or else everything I love will be threatened.” Exactly how Bedwyr felt. If Erec had to guess. Comparing himself to his brother, now, he could see that the similarities just went on and on.
Not long ago, he would’ve hated that conjecture. Now, it was almost a relief.
“That is the source of your Strength? Huh. You know, I wouldn’t have thought it, with the way you fight. Like you have nothing to lose.” Garin said.
“Might is an odd thing. I’m just starting to understand what any of it means, I suppose we could go years before I find it.”
“I’m still trying to find mine. Did you know Munchy can talk—I’m starting to hear his voice. Now that I know how to listen… I think he’s growing too… I don’t know what to make of it. Or what my Soul is doing—it broke into the next Tier, now. But what does that even mean? I’m not seeing a massive boost in Strength. I’m not any quicker. My spells aren’t more focused.” Garin’s voice was becoming more strained, “I’m exhausted Erec. I can barely even keep up with the two of you. I didn’t have anything at all to do with fighting that monster—and the bugs were mostly swept aside by you.”
“You scouted out the hole. Neither me nor Colin could do that.”
“I didn’t notice that beneath the pit was an even worse monster, which could have gotten us all killed in the field.”
“Use a mole too, next time,” Erec shrugged, “Your Talent is strong, Garin. I’ve always told you as much—you just need to be creative with it.”
“And if I was alone—what then? How do I take down a monster like that.”
“You would’ve ran, if you were alone.” It wasn’t an insult. No. Garin was trying to view himself in the same lens as his friends—but that wasn’t his Strength. Gaining power for a guy like Garin meant he needed more awareness. If Erec had an ability like that—the idea of being a general, a leader that changed the tide of war instead of that of a battle…
The potential for a talent like that was an untold kind that Might alone could not accomplish.
“You think too much of me. I appreciate you trying to hype me up, but I don’t know, man.”
“Shut up. Garin, I promise you, what you have is something many would die for. Just find confidence in it. Trust yourself and trust the people around you, and everything else will fall into place. Now, get back to sleep. We’ll need rest tomorrow.” Erec closed his eyes.
Two more days, then normal life again.
Except, this had already changed him. Already left him too many questions—it had changed both of his friends too. How much, then, could the next two days change them further?
“Only if you promise to sleep, too.”
“Yeah, yeah.”
“Swear it.”
“I swear. I’ll count my breaths and picture killing bugs til I drift off, promise.” Erec vowed and settled down, letting the air of the night in.
Rest was important, and somehow, reassuring his friend of his place in the world made Erec find it just a bit easier to reconnect with reality. Soon, he was asleep.