I Want to Slack Off at the Demon Bureau

This kiss was far more intense and passionate than before, causing her to collapse into his embrace.

Though she had initially leaned down to him, his arms gently encircled her, like vines entwining her and drawing her into a fragrant, leafy shade. The faint taste of bamboo permeated her mouth, its cool crispness dispelling the irritating summer heat and sending tingles through her nerve endings, leaving her dizzy and intoxicated.

Her waist unconsciously weakened, slumping to one side, but his arms supported her as she continued to breathe in his scent.

He tilted his head back slightly, revealing his prominent Adam's apple and alabaster neck. At first, his lips barely parted, restraining himself as he waited for her to make the next move. Sensing her softness and stillness, he finally ventured forward cautiously.

His long fingers applied the slightest pressure, pressing her closer to him. His breathing grew more fervent, his tongue deftly exploring, sending shivers across her scalp.

In this romantic haze, they shared each other's worlds, like inseparable vines clinging tightly to one another in the boundless spring sunlight.

As the kiss ended, she felt as if her breath had been stolen away. Her mind remained blank, and when she finally came to her senses, she realized she was pressed against the bamboo grove.

Xin Yunmao lounged casually in the rattan rocking chair, truly acting as a quiet bamboo mat, allowing her to collapse onto him. He lazily set the chair swaying. Having just pulled her into his arms, he showed no intention of changing position.

He had finally succeeded in his experiment - the rocking chair could indeed support two people.

A gentle breeze swept by, causing the ancient rattan chair to sway back and forth, even inducing a sense of afternoon drowsiness.

"Wait, how did we..." Chu Zhishui struggled to regain her faculties. Holding her head, she tried to recall their conversation, but it was as if she'd been sprayed with amnesia bubbles, a chunk of her memory inexplicably lost. "What was I about to tell you just now?"

She was certain he had cast some spell on her, like the bewitched scholars in ancient tales, suddenly becoming infatuated and forgetting their original purpose.

Xin Yunmao gazed at her intently and reminded her, "You wanted to humiliate and defile me, and you succeeded."

"..."

Chu Zhishui's face flushed crimson. "Stop talking nonsense!"

His Adam's apple bobbed as he glanced at her lips, seemingly still unsatisfied. "What are you afraid of? I already said I'd absolve you of any guilt."

The two kisses seemed to have unleashed his true nature, reverting him to his usual shameless and nonsensical self, with no trace of his earlier awkwardness.

Chu Zhishui bit her lip in embarrassment, increasingly feeling that he had feigned innocence to lure her in. He usually maintained an air of purity and chastity, blushing like a shrimp at the slightest provocation, but at the crucial moment, he had tricked her into taking the bait.

Afterwards, he even adopted the attitude of having been ravished by her.

What a green tea bitch! What a schemer!

"No, I originally wanted to have a serious talk with you today. Last time was a misunderstanding. I'm very happy that you're blooming..."

She hadn't expected that before finishing their serious conversation, they'd end up doing such unserious things.

Chu Zhishui held her forehead, intending to stand up and distance herself slightly from Xin Yunmao. However, he had been supporting her with his arm, and now he sneakily withdrew it, causing her to lose balance and fall back into his embrace.

Xin Yunmao, acting as a cushion, cheerfully responded, "Mm, now I understand."

Seeing his contentment, Chu Zhishui felt increasingly annoyed, feeling deceived. She asked suspiciously, "Wait, how come you're blooming now? Didn't you say before that you didn't know about it?"

The timing of this blooming was off. There had been several occasions before when he had played dumb!

Hearing this, Xin Yunmao looked embarrassed. He confessed, "I only recently discovered that I apparently couldn't bloom before."

Chu Zhishui's face was expressionless. "Are you a disabled bamboo? Missing some functions?"

"I'm not disabled!" Xin Yunmao was provoked by her words and said shamefully, "It's just that some of my abilities were suppressed by the dragon flame!"

"Tsk, tsk, tsk."

"..."

Xin Yunmao irritably ignored her strange look and explained, "After the great battle, I cut off one of that dragon's claws, but he enveloped me in dragon flame. Our powers became entangled, causing me to be constantly scorched by his and his followers' five poisons and eight sufferings, which in turn made me irritable."

"My original name was Yunmao. Because of this incident, I became known as Xin Yunmao. Names are very important to us, and this kind of damage is irreversible. For a long time, I couldn't resolve it. After becoming a god, we could see human desires, so I never accepted followers. If I got too involved with mortals, I would be affected by their five poisons and eight sufferings, polluting me even more severely."

This was the origin of his obsession with cleanliness, maintaining an indifferent attitude towards the mortal world. Otherwise, he would be further burdened by endless desires.

"No wonder you asked me to call you... last time," Chu Zhishui hesitated. She had thought he was just being thick-skinned, not realizing his true name was Yunmao. She continued, "Wait a minute, you never accepted followers? Are you sure?"

When she first met him, he seemed to be proselytizing, grabbing her and not letting her leave.

"You're the exception," Xin Yunmao said proudly. "After all, you're my only follower, and a rare human god, untainted by the five poisons and eight sufferings."

"Pardon my asking, but what's a human god?" Chu Zhishui asked weakly. "I'm human."

"Heaven and Earth made me a god, but I think they were wrong, so I made you a human god. I can be your follower too."

"...You're so chuunibyou."

It was like elementary school kids playing house, taking turns being god - he's god on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, she's god on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays, with Sundays off.

Xin Yunmao twirled a lock of her long hair, finally having the chance to play with it between his fingers. He continued, "In Qi Wu, my pollution worsened, but when you called me into your mental world, there were no five poisons or eight sufferings there, so the dragon flame extinguished."

"This is a remarkable feat that neither I nor that dragon could achieve, so you are undoubtedly a human god." He brought her silky hair to his lips, silently and reverently kissing it.

Whether it was him or that dragon, even after being deified by Heaven and Earth, they still couldn't escape greed, anger, ignorance, arrogance, and doubt.

Endlessly pursuing power and longevity, perhaps wanting a human woman to achieve immortality, or perhaps unwilling to have his position shaken, that dragon harbored murderous intentions towards him.

This, in turn, bred resentment in him, giving rise to hatred and arrogance. The dragon flame sealed off various emotions, causing him to adopt a resistant and rejecting attitude towards all things in the world.

"Are you secretly playing with my hair?" Chu Zhishui turned her head vigilantly but didn't notice anything unusual. She looked him up and down and asked, pursing her lips, "So if there was no dragon flame, when would you have bloomed?"

She was indeed very curious about the exact timing.

Xin Yunmao was taken aback. He seemed to suddenly remember something and asked with furrowed brows, "Then when did you start to like me? I've already bloomed, but you haven't said anything."

Chu Zhishui didn't expect him to counterattack. She froze, at a loss for words. "..."

Faced with his expectant gaze, her cheeks gradually turned pink. Her lips moved slightly, wanting to express her feelings, to compliment his beautiful flowers, or to confess some of her emotions, but she felt particularly shy and couldn't even muster her usual eloquence.

Seeing her blushing, Xin Yunmao nodded knowingly. "No need to say it, I understand."

She said dryly, "What do you understand?"

"It was love at first sight for us," he gazed at her and said with certainty. "You had ulterior motives from the beginning, coveting my looks."

"..."

Heavens above, earth below, his old problem had resurfaced!

Hearing this, Chu Zhishui pinched his earlobe to stop his words. She smiled and said, "I've been thinking, maybe I'm after your essence as a bamboo, your bamboo characteristics."

"What bamboo characteristics?" He became coy at her touch. "To make bamboo chairs and mats?"

"No, the empty-headedness and thick skin."

"???"

Don't ask her what she likes about him; sometimes when she sees him acting this foolish, she can't figure it out either.

Regardless, from today on, she would be accompanied by a courtyard full of bamboo flowers for a long time.

Chu Zhishui looked at the bamboo flowers swaying in the wind, then glanced at Xin Yunmao beside her. A faint smile appeared on her lips as she promised softly, "Even though your power is starting to weaken, I'll take good care of you."

Xin Yunmao: "I've already said, even if I weaken for another few hundred years, I still..."

"You don't have to go to the bureau in the future if you don't want to. You can stay at home and wait for me."

"..."

The more Xin Yunmao heard, the more uneasy he felt. He wanted to say that his current demonic energy was completely sufficient, at least for her hundred-year lifespan, but she was already speaking as if she intended to keep him as a pet.

Thinking carefully, his temple was still built in her courtyard, and even the antique rocking chair he was sitting on was bought by her.

The next day, at the Huaijiang Observation Bureau, in the director's office.

Hu Chenrui pushed open the door and entered. As soon as he came in and saw Xin Yunmao sitting on the sofa, he showed a look of surprise: "Divine Lord, what are you..."

What wind had blown him here?

He had never come here before.

Xin Yunmao sat quietly in the room. Seeing that Hu Chenrui had finally shown up, he said in a calm tone, "Give me some money."

Hu Chenrui: "?"

Hu Chenrui spoke diplomatically: "Divine Lord, even if your love life isn't going well, you shouldn't turn to crime."

"Who says my love life isn't going well?" Xin Yunmao lifted his chin proudly and sneered, "Back then, you used me as leverage to get quite a few benefits from that peacock. Did you think I didn't know?"

"..." Hu Chenrui was momentarily speechless. He forced a smile and said, "I thought Divine Lord didn't care about such things."

"I didn't care before. Considering you just had a brief chat with me and got assigned to this place, I couldn't be bothered to make a fuss about it," Xin Yunmao frowned. "But that doesn't mean I'm a fool who doesn't know about your income."

Hu Chenrui, being quite socially adept, had only exchanged greetings with Xin Yunmao during the great battle. They weren't really familiar with each other, yet he was directly selected to come to Huaijiang, believing that the fox could keep things under control.

Hu Chenrui tried to dodge the issue with a smile: "Divine Lord, you see, to receive a salary here, one needs to be officially employed..."

"Then solve that problem."

"?"

Well, well, the noble and upright bamboo god had already resorted to using connections to solve his employment status.

Hu Chenrui hesitated: "Actually, if you want to make money, there are many ways to do so. Why must you join the Bureau?"

Even though Xin Yunmao's supernatural power had weakened, he hadn't lost his innate abilities. Making contracts with demons and humans outside would bring in more income.

"But she doesn't like methods that involve cheating," Xin Yunmao lowered his eyelids, light dancing in his eyes as he said softly, "Besides, I want to do the same things she does, to experience her work and life."

Hu Chenrui was stunned. After a long silence, he sighed and said, "Fine, but I should tell you in advance, the Bureau was only established after the founding of the nation, so when we calculate your back pay, it will be from the Bureau's establishment until now."

After all, Chu Zhishui had earned plenty of money, and the Bureau currently couldn't spend it all, so giving him some back pay wouldn't be an issue.

Xin Yunmao calmly said: "No need to give it to me, just transfer it directly to her."

"That would be against regulations. The account name has to be yours," Hu Chenrui chuckled. "Besides, handing over your salary card is one of the pleasures of being a human male."

"...Oh."