I Refused To Be Reincarnated

Lights finally returned to Adam's eyes after a tense day, accompanied by a pin-drop silence. Instantly, a burning sensation assaulted his body, causing him to groan in pain. Yet, only determination flashed in his luminous eyes as he thought, 'I need to continue digging.'

Not wasting time checking his surroundings, his ethereal frame shakily rose from the ground under his companion's shocked gazes.

However, as he took his first steps towards the wall, someone grabbed him tightly by the waist, halting his movements.

"You worked hard, big bro. Now rest for a week," Julius said, his brown eyes filled with admiration. He couldn't imagine how much pain his big brother was in. Yet, he rose to continue working silently, not uttering a single complaint, all for their safety.

Upon hearing the boy's words, Adam's mind cleared. With relief, he looked at the crystal clear underground lake resting in the middle of the cave. Then, at Morgane's widened eyes and tightly shut mouth. Finally, at Nova's raised fist and cheerful smile.

"I'm glad you woke up. Listen to baby Julius, or your magic circuits will melt," the latter said, relief and worry mixing in her voice. "I don't want to see you use mana until you're in perfect condition, and trust me, I'll monitor you closely," she added, unwilling to see him overexert himself now that the kids were out of danger.

"Impossible," responded Adam, his eyes narrowing. The longer they stayed, the higher the chances for the kingdoms' troops to locate them. "We need to join the river as soon as possible."

"We knew you wouldn't listen to reason!" Nova exclaimed, her lips twitching before adding, "Julius, you know what to do."

With a nod, the boy tackled his big brother to the ground, immobilising him with a guilty expression covering his face. "Sorry, but you won't use magic for a week," he muttered before resolving his heart. "Without your mana, even if we escape tomorrow, we'll die if they catch us. So, take your time to recover and don't worry about anything," he added, supporting his demand with sound arguments.

Stunned by their instance, Adam gazed at the boy holding him with a smile. Then, he said, "I'll listen to you. Let me at least sit."

Worriedly, Julius moved, eying him attentively to stop him if he dashed to the wall. However, his big brother really sat, gazing at the lake with a lost expression.

"I'm sorry you had to endure thirst for so long," he said, remorse filling his voice as he cursed his idea inwardly. After everything they went through, fighting evil ghosts and the dullahan, death by lack of water sounded like a poor joke. Yet, he was its author.

"It's not your fault," answered the boy, his eyes turning sharp before he added. "It's because of those nobles! We all know you're doing your best."

However, confusion gained his features as Adam shook his head.

"It's because Morgane and I are summoned. If we didn't meet... You'll be living happily with your mother instead of being chased," he said, lowering his eyes.

"Maybe. Or maybe I would have died as a baby when she worked on that farm, cleaning cattle poop to earn a pittance," Julius instantly responded, his heart aching. He already pondered the question several times after learning his big brother was a summoned.

Yet, the answers he established were the same. Without him, he would have died of starvation or grown up sick. Without him, he wouldn't have learned magic and gotten a rare talent for cultivation.

Without him, he wouldn't have left his small village and discovered the exotic city of Alkemia Al-Nur, the college, the snow-covered Avalorian mountains or the soul society lying hidden from the world in the canyon's depth.

He could go on and on, mentioning his education, encompassing multiple subjects, offering him all his savings without hesitation, or his unconditional care. Thus, no matter what mistakes he made in those times of uncertainty, he wouldn't let him feel guilty.

Grabbing him by the shoulders, he stood before him, staring straight into his luminous eyes and declared, "We suffered, but aren't we safe? Don't burden yourself with what ifs or things that didn't happen!"

His hands trembled as his last words echoed in the cave, causing the two girls to nod in agreement.

Biting his lips to stay silent, Adam closed his eyes, unconvinced by his words. If he adopted the leader's position, everyone's life was his responsibility, and he couldn't make mistakes. That was his vision and understanding of that role. No one would make him change it or the truth. The truth of his failure.

He was no leader, just a regular man doing his best. But who would care? In the end, there would only be two outcomes. Either they escaped and survived the pursuers, or they died trying under his wrong commands.

As he grappled with his doubts and guilt, Nova hugged him from behind, her melodious voice echoing, "Everyone makes mistakes, even Ossian. Don't let doubts alter your judgment because, truthfully, anyone else would have died already. You don't realise how far you led us against all odds. So, puff your chest with pride and smile!"

"Maybe..." he responded as Nova's joyful aura engulfed him, causing a few optimistic thoughts to form amidst his depression.

'I'm lacking right now, but at least I know my shortcomings,' he thought, his eyes lightening as he reaffirmed his beliefs and defiance against anyone threatening his friends. 'No one will die under my watch. I vow it.' With these burning words, the icy darkness gripping his heart melted like snow under the sun as his lips curled into a smile.

"How can I brood when I have the best advisors to cheer me up," he said jokingly, ruffling Julius' and Novas' hair. "We'll rest for a week, dig for another, and leave those soldiers in the dust. Let's make it the shameful day two kingdoms failed to capture a group of four," he added, smirking from ear to ear as he imagined the two monarch's faces after their failure.

Yet, he forgot an important detail. Nine days passed since their departure from college, signifying their week of vacation was well over.