Code Zulu Alpha: Nerd in the Apocalypse!

To my surprise, Matthew agreed with me for once but in all honesty, the only reason I turned down the offer of taking them was all the negative side-effects that it comes with. I haven't even read through all the shit it would do to my body because I was only informed of the one the Admiral and Bartow were taking but from the surface, the old man still felt like the old man so that's that.

Oscar shrugged his shoulders, "Sure, it's your choice too, and doing this is mine. Honestly though, I've been getting random erections and I don't know what to do with it—"

"PFFTT!!!"

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

"WHAT?!"

"It's not funny— well, it kinda is but— STOP MAKING THAT FACE!"

"Well, are you hard now?"

"YOU— DON'T FUCKING ASK ME THAT! You know how stupid it is to start wearing tighter underwear to keep them all in! As if my balls dropping down to my knees aren't hard enough—"

"AHHHHH! FUCKING STOP! I CAN'T GET THE IMAGE OUT OF MY HEAD!"

"HAH! WELL, IT'S YOUR OWN DAMN FAULT FOR ALL THAT LIP!"

"Maaan~ I thought we'd talk deep shit like every other night but this is craaazy~"

I waved them off, "Any other side-effects you felt though?"

Oscar thought for a bit, "Actually? Hmm~ My head's pretty clear ever since I took it— no brain fog, no forgetfulness, no nothing. My appetite's grown bigger though but it gives me more energy in return because of all the food—so I just take care of it by eating more shit with fiber. Kind of a side-effect but in a good way, you know? A side-side-effect, if you will."

Johnny nodded a few times, "Interesting."

Matthew shook his head, "You really want to hop on the juice, huh?"

Oscar cut in, "I'd advise against it."

Johnny couldn't believe his ears, "What now?! YOU advise against it?!"

Oscar shook his head, "Aside from you being the fail-safe if I die earlier than expected, you still have your wife and grandkids—"

I cut in, "How about me, Jennifer, and everyone else here?"

Oscar looked down before turning to me, "Don't take it the wrong way, kid, you're family. I'd even refer to you as my son—"

I never shook all over, "Cringe."

Oscar shook all over as well, "Yeah, let's not do that. Nephew?"

"Uh-huh. Continue."

"Yeah, yeah, despite all that shit—someone has to do it and not do it."

Matthew cut in, "I could be the one not doing it, I'm here aren't I?"

"While that is true— Hmm, why don't we wait for my bloodwork to come back first before you decide on it or not? It's only a few days, you can wait that long, right? I treat this shit like I have some sort of transmitted sickness until it's not. The Admiral's doctors already told me about its effects but there's a chance I might be different, no?

Besides, you'd have to ask the kid if he'll give you some."

Johnny turned to me with a serious expression, "I really don't wanna pull rank and my accomplishments here but with the time I served the Marines, I think I deserve a shot—be it for research purposes or anything, I'd take even half a dose if it gives me a percent chance to protect my family more—including everyone here, of course."

I sighed, "Johnny, you have to understand—"

"No, YOU have to understand. This shit's the worst thing that could've happened at my age. We've been living good— fuck it, maybe even better the moment you pressed that button on our intercom but I gotta be here for as long as possible. Or at least long enough until it's over."

"..."

"If I'd have to kneel down and beg, I will—"

"No… Listen— and don't cut me off even once. The old man's decision to do it is between him and the Admiral alone, if I'm the one to give it to you and if something goes wrong, it'll be on me—"

He put his hands up, "Then I waive you of all the responsibility that comes along with it. I'll even make a written or a recorded statement that absolves you of anything—"

"You think your family would accept that? And don't even start about lying to them—"

"N-No, no, the last thing I'd do to them is lie. I tell them every bit of bad news as much as I tell them the good ones. They'll know what I'll be getting into and I'll make sure to tell them—especially them—that my decision to do this is on me and me alone and I'll make them aware of your stance on it."

"That's still—"

"Heck—I'd take you anywhere you fucking want! You wanna go to Japan, right?! Set a fucking date—though we need a better ship—but I'll take you there and back! What do you say?! Come on! It's a win-win for you, kid!

You don't have anything to lose!"

I tried to joke, "If you two fucks croak, I'd be left with this guy *points at Matthew* how miserable would that be?"

Matthew actually agreed as he added, "Listen to the kid, John… He's right—"

Johnny shook his head, "Wanna make jokes, huh?" then the motherfucker actually pulled out his prosthetic leg and waved it in front of me, almost dropping the Mare's Leg hidden in it, "I'm literally on my last leg, you fuck! What now?! Can't spare me a fucking shot?! How much is left anyway— it's not like those mint figures you have to kept on the shelves collecting dust!"

I smiled bitterly, "Alright, that's enough—"

"I ain't leaving here until you say yes! PLEASE! I'M FUCKING BEGGING HERE—"

I stood up, looking him straight in the eye, "Look, you've had a drink— We all have—"

"BUT—"

"I know you're fucking heavy drinkers but we gotta do this in a more neutral setting, without any alcohol involved. So let's do this after Oscar gets his fucking bloodwork and while you're the uptight son of a bitch who wouldn't bend the knee for anything, understand? That's when we'll resume this talk. I'm sorry but I'mma head out…"